R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
