i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
