well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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