making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
