apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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