Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
