it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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