i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
