Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
