I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
