Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
