For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
