I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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