I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
