Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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