Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
