Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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