You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
