R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
