the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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