i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
