I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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