Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
