don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
