mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have aggressive nipples.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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