Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
