i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
