whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
