You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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