her vagine was all disorganized.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
