Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
