It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
