gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
