my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
