But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
