By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
