what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
