do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
