do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
