i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
