They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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