Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i believe in u and ur pee
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
