I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
