If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
well you can't waste a boner
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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