I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
