She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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