The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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