Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
