the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
