I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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